A quiet side effect of the current state of affairs is that most of us are spending a lot more time with our significant other. In a period when the majority of the population is working from home and not socializing with others, our partner has become our lifeline and as a result, we've gotten to know them that much better. Taken with a positive approach, this time together can enhance a relationship. It can also illuminate holes in the fabric of the partnership that is now ripped open by simply too much time together. In every situation, no matter how daunting, there are always opportunities for lessons and growth. As you spend countless hours with your loved one, why not work on the foundation of your relationship and see how you can enhance it rather than have it deteriorate under the stress of the world.
While there are many ways to work on your relationship, astrology offers some helpful guidance on what issues may arise between two people and how to handle them when they do become your reality. Relationships are complex energies, especially when it comes to looking at astrological signs. There are many factors which comprise our astrological makeup, known as our natal chart. When we put two already complex things together, well things get complicated. There are no definitive answers to what works best in a relationship. However, there are some general rules that can be applied. These rules provide guidance to where challenges may occur and where your two energies will harmonize.
In looking at astrological relationships, you first want to pull both parties natal charts. You can do that here. Next identify both people’s Moon, Sun and Venus signs. These signs are the most important when it comes to relationships. Your Sun sign defines what will keep you sane in a relationship. The Sun is the center of our chart, so to speak, just like the solar system. It holds us together in every area of our life, including our love life. Your Sun Sign compatibility will show you what brings you back to center when life gets rocky. We want these things to be synergistic in partners. A brief explanation of Sun signs in these terms are as follows:
Aries Sun: Your motivation, and courage, to pursue your soul’s mission keeps you together.
Taurus Sun: Your desire to create, often through your hands, hold you together.
Gemini Sun: Your curiosity about the immediate world around you is your rock.
Cancer Sun: Your intuition is your center, once you are able to sit with all of your feelings.
Leo Sun: Play, which opens your heart and makes you laugh, is where you’ll find your balance.
Virgo Sun: Your desire to serve the world through your gifts provides you a place to return.
Libra Sun: Your inner peace and urge to create harmony in the world is your true balance.
Scorpio Sun: Your desire to understand the cycles of life, and depths of consciousness is your rock.
Sagittarius Sun: Your love of adventure and quest for truth is where you return.
Capricorn Sun: Your work is your rock, along with your reputation.
Aquarius Sun: Your independence and desire to be different is what keeps you together.
Pisces Sun: You need to lose yourself in something to find your center.
Just looking this over you can start to see why some signs are more capable than others. As a rule of thumb, signs of the same elements harmonize, or at least can understand each other. These signs trine each other or sit 120° away from each on the zodiac wheel. FYI each sign is comprised of 30°. Signs that trine each othe are as follows:
Fire: Aires, Leo, Sagittarius
Earth: Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo
Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Water: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
If we look at the zodiac wheel, signs which are 60° apart, called a sextile, provide us with a growth edge. These signs differ vastly in their center, but can actually help one another grow to their potential. For example, Virgo, sextiles with Scorpio, Scorpio sextiles with Capricorn, Capricorn sextiles with Pisces, Aries sextiles Gemini, Gemini with Leo and Leo with Libra.
Confused yet? It gets more complicated…. Signs that oppose each other on the zodiac wheel can be some of our greatest attractions, but our greatest challenges. Opposing signs are similar in their core, but their execution of the energies is different. They can understand each other on a fundamental level, and can even agree on many things, but they will go about living their lives differently. Gemini and Sagittarius are a perfect example. Both are curious and in search of knowledge, both communicate to obtain information. Gemini, however, focuses on the pieces, while Sagittarius focuses on the bigger picture. Therefore Gemini is more adept to remain in their local environment, while Sagittarius is more likely to hop on a plane and roam the world. You can see how this would play out in a relationship….
Signs that square each other are another story. These signs sit 90° away from each other, known as a square. Squares are tense energies. These relationships are the most challenging, as their core personalities differ greatly. There is often friction in these relationships and heated battles. If you want a challenge, this is the relationship for you. Signs that square each other: Aries squares Cancer and Capricorn, Taurus squares Leo and Aquarius, Gemini squares Virgo and Pisces, Cancer squares Libra and Aries.
So that’s the basics of astrological aspects. Trine: Harmony, Sextile: Growth, Opposition: Different point of view of the same energy, Squares: Friction. Generally, Trines and Sextiles are beneficial, meaning the enhance the energy of each sign. Sextiles doing this through growth. Oppositions are challenging but illuminating. Squares are tense and full of friction but can be broken through.
Now onto Moon Signs. Your Moon Sign determines your reigning emotional need. Meaning what you need to feel fulfilled in your heart. When we feel depressed, happy, angry or content, it is often our Moon Sign which contributed to these feelings. Your Moon sign is one of the most important pieces in your relationship because it tells you what you need from yourself and from another to feel emotionally content. Below is a brief explanation of your Moon Signs.
Aries Moon: Your heart needs adventure and a mountain to climb.
Taurus Moon: Your heart needs peace and a good home to rest in.
Gemini Moon: Your heart needs communication.
Cancer Moon: Your heart needs to feel.
Leo Moon: Your heart needs self-expression and people to appreciate it.
Virgo Moon: Your heart needs to be of service.
Libra Moon: Your heart needs harmony, internal and external.
Scorpio Moon: Your heart needs intimacy.
Sagittarius Moon: Your heart needs truth.
Capricorn Moon: Your heart needs security.
Aquarius Moon: Your heart needs freedom.
Pisces Moon: Your heart needs expansion.
You can pair together your Moon signs just like you did your Sun Signs. Are you and your partner in a trine, a square, opposing or sextile with your Moon signs?
Learn about Moon Sign compatibly in more depth in the Libra Full Moon Workbook.
Lastly, we have our Venus Sign. Venus is the planet of love and in our chart shows us how we love. Often how we love is what attracts our partners. Do you love with big gestures or tender moments? Do you love with speech or touch? If any sign pairs with the common “love languages” this is it. Your Venus will show you how you communicate love and often times what you are attracted to in a partner. A brief explanation of Venus Signs is below:
Venus in Aries: You love fiercely and passionately. Decisiveness is your main attraction.
Venus in Taurus: You love with all of your senses, especially touch.
Venus in Gemini: You love with your tongue- for speech :) Communication is the way to your heart.
Venus in Cancer: You love through care. You love to nourish and be nourished.
Venus in Leo: You love through laughter and a good time.
Venus in Virgo: You love through acts of service and healing.
Venus in Libra: You love through beautiful surroundings. A sensual home, fragrance in the air, a beautiful scene shows your love and attracts you.
Venus in Scorpio: Quality time is your thing. You show your love through it, and need it to feel loved.
Venus in Sagittarius: You love on the road. A journey is how you show your heart and what attracts you.
Venus in Capricorn: You love through commitment. Signing a lease together, or at least dedicating a night a week to your partner is how you love.
Venus in Aquarius: You love unconventionally. Grand gestures at unusual times are more your thing than roses on valentine’s day.
Venus in Pisces: You love through full immersion. Melding with another’s energy and emotions is what attracts you and shows your love.
Again, determine how your Venus signs relate to one another. Do they trine? Meaning, do they harmonize each other and bring out the best? Do they Sextile? Meaning, to do they help you grow and understand yourself on a deeper level? Do they Oppose? Meaning, do they bring you a different perspective and can you live with that? Or do they Square? Meaning do they clash, but might be exciting nonetheless?
Ok, so you have your Sun, your Moon and your Venus. Now it’s time to play best out of three. Say your Moon signs oppose, your Sun signs trine and your Venus sextile. We have two very beneficial aspects (trine and sextile) and one challenge. This combination doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed to failure or guaranteed glory. It just shows you where your work is, and where you may have some issues. In this example, the challenge would be the Moon Sign or reigning needs. So, if you two are quarreling, look to your Moon Sign to start reconciling your love through understanding each other’s needs. Say your Sun signs square, your Moons sextile, and your Venus signs oppose. More than likely, relationship issues will revolve around your core personality, meaning what you need in life to hold you together. This core personality is where the greatest friction will exist. If that doesn’t settle the debate, look to your opposing Venus. Are you viewing the same energy from a different perspective? How can you see the same thing from similar points of view?
There are many combinations not explained here. Natal charts are complicated beasts, and this article is meant to be a simple guide for you to dip your toes into astrological compatibility. Do not take any of these things too seriously. The most important thing is that both signs are living their highest vibration. Learn more about compatibility based on your personal Moon sign in the Libra Full Moon Workbook.
Cover Art via Becca Reitz
A wonderful post – I got so excited reading through it all! What does it mean, when your partner’s signs don’t come up in any of your respective trines, sextiles, oppositions or squares for all three sun, moon, and venus?
I love this. What a great read! I really dislike blatant compatibility claims between signs and truly believe that all the signs can be harmonious when we are tuned into our highest vibrations. Love how you laid them out as challenges for the relationship to address verses deal breakers. Another interesting aspect to consider is if your Sun, Moon or Venus are interchanged with a partner. My husband and I have a semi-sextile aspect with our sun signs but our Venus signs are flipped so that my Sun is his Venus and his Venus is my Sun. I think this brings a deeper level of understanding to our relationship that would otherwise be labeled “incompatible”
So helpful — thank you! I knew about compatible orientations for Sun signs, but I never thought to apply it to Moon and Venus. I appreciate knowing where the challenges lie.
Loved this! Knowing my husband’s Venus sign helped me understand where is love is coming from! Thank you, as always for sharing your wisdom. Abundant love to you and yours… xo <3
This blog post was so much fun to read! I’m not currently in a relationship but I felt very called to read this to learn how to read the charts of a future partner and I in a relationship. Thank you so much for this <3